We interupt this story.....

I will finish my experience soon....being a single full time workin mama doesn't leave alot of time for blogging so I appreciate your patience. I feel I should also warn you I am using this blog not only as a place to share my story as well as an outlet.
It's been a hard weekend and beginning of the week for me. Don't you just hate when all your mistakes come to smack you straight in the face? The worst things you have done in life just rise to the surface and you go through living through them all over again. I know this is a BIG problem for me and mostly my fault but this tends to happen to me ALOT.
I finally shouted at the ceiling (hahaha does anyone else talk to the ceiling while yelling at God?) just asking why. I really haven't been a why me person, through this whole experience I have come to God many many times on my knees begging for guidance, begging for peace in my life. This was one of the few times I truly was just angry and yes I directed it at Him. I won't go into the reason why here will keep my "why me's" to myself as I'm sure is where we would all like them to stay.
Just needed a small vent. Thank you for letting me :) The other thing I need to remind myself is for the immense grattitude I have for Korbin and for his family. There are so many times I feel literally overwhelemed with love for them. I am not ashamed of my adoption, I feel that everything I have done in my life has brought me to this point. I have never felt so much love for another person as I feel for Korbin. Sometimes that love just hurts a little. I just can't figure out why.
Vent over! Will share the beautiful moments I spent in the hospital soon.